I had a really disturbing phone interaction yesterday. I’d applied for a temporary massage gig that I’d seen posted on craigslist. It looked like a good way to make a little extra money (the holidays are coming soon, after all!) Almost immediately after sending my information to the email address that had been supplied in the post I received a phone call right away from an enthusiastic woman (we’ll call her Susan). Susan called to tell me that she had good news and bad news. The good news was that my resume was great and that I was really qualified and they’d love to have me fill their need for a massage therapist. The bad news was that she couldn’t hire me because I’m a man. As it turns out there are plenty of clients that visit their location who do not want a male therapist. She thanked me for my interest and after a few more pleasantries we ended the call.
I’m not new to the massage industry and I’ve had individual clients turn me down because of my gender. I’ve even missed out on opportunities because of what I’m sure is a gender bias toward females in the massage industry. I’ve never had a potential employer tell me flat out that they couldn’t hire me because I’m a man. In this day and age where it would be IMPOSSIBLE to get away with telling someone they couldn’t be hired because they were a woman or a particular ethnicity, religion, etc. without the ACLU or someone else knocking down your door, I was actually quite shocked by her honesty. I mean, after all, it’s still discrimination if I’m a white guy, right? Maybe in our mega-PC world the only acceptable group to discriminate against are white guys?
I’m clearly not going to lose sleep over this because it was just a small opportunity. I’ve also been fortunate to have many other chances granted to me over the years. It’s not my style to end up somewhere I’m not truly wanted anyway. But I still can’t help but feel a little bit angry that the only reason I lost the job was because of my gender. Aren’t we past this as a society? Does it really matter to most people that their massage therapist be a female?
Just Be Now 
One of the reasons I was turned off of the spa experience. You also can’t get a male therapist in many spas without jumping through hoops. It feels like the femal emassage industry doesn’t really want men involved. They’d like the cash, but it seems men are unwanted on some deep, unconscious level.
There is definitely a bias against men in the field. I always feel like I have to be twice as good and work twice as hard to get just as far as women in the industry (not trying to knock my female therapist colleagues at all!) In some cases there is also a discrimination against male clients. The student clinic where I worked wouldn’t take appointments from men who called for a last minute massage as a precaution against “lewd behavior”. Maybe there’s a need for a spa that caters to the needs of men. We need the relaxation and health benefits of massage too!
Brian, you should go for it! Maybe there is a niche where you could create a spa with male therapists and/ or for male clients. it is not a bad idea.
It is disappointing that an employer would turn you down for that. But I can see the fjip side too. Perhaps it depends upon their clientele. I am thinking of the statistic that 1 in 4 women have been sexually abused. Therfore, I could see how perhaps many women may not feel comfotable being touched by a man…
Just food for thought, I dont now if it makes you feel any better or less angry. But I really think you do have something there, you could start your own buisness!
Dear Sue,
Thanks for the encouragement! I’ll keep my eyes out for a space that can be used for a guy-friendly holistic health center for massage and yoga. I know we’ve been talking just about the massage industry in this thread, but of course I’m sensitive to the issue as it relates to yoga as well. Most men consider the yoga studio a “NO MAN ZONE”. We’ll be doing an article on this and other yoga myths in the latest NJ Namaste News due out January 1. Check it out when it hits the streets in a few weeks!