Day 7: Holidayasana Update December 8, 2010

Things are going along well with the Holidayasana challenge!

Over the past three days I’ve added two more healthy meals and two more yoga practices, so here’s the new tally:

HEALTHY MEALS: 10 of 25 done!

YOGA PRACTICES: 5 of 20 done!

NO DISPOSABLE BAGS THIS MONTH!

I learned an important lesson during this challenge today. I’ve been feeling like I’m fighting a cold a bit over the past couple of days. In my mind, I’d added certain stipulations to what constituted a “yoga practice”, such as it had to last a certain length of time and be at a certain level of difficulty. Today I had a busy 11 hour workday and this evening I decided to do a relatively brief restorative practice. It felt great, helped my body feel rejuvenated, and while it didn’t meet my expectations I’d set at the start of the challenge it was one of the most meaningful practices I’ve had in a while. I’m reminded that yoga has so many things to offer and that restorative practice can be so beneficial when your body feels depleted.

On a side note, I’ve accepted an offer to be Assistant Editor of the massage page over at All Things Healing. I’m so excited to have this platform to share with our readers the benefits of massage therapy. If you haven’t checked out the site, it’s a comprehensive resource for various holistic practices like yoga and massage. Give it a look!

Letting Go (A Refresher) November 30, 2010

There are some lessons in life that we only need to learn once. Most kids only need to touch a hot stove once to learn that it’s something they don’t want to ever do again. However there are other lessons that seem like a lifelong journey, a never ending practice. The lesson I’m thinking about today is about the beauty and power of Letting Go.

I’ve learned the power of letting go so many times over the years. I’ve found the relief and freedom that finally comes only after letting go of long-held resentments. I’ve experienced how a broken heart can be healed after an ended relationship by finally letting go of your expectations, best laid plans, and longshot hopes for a reconciliation. I’ve even applied the process of letting go to my yoga practice. By letting go of fear of falling on my face and of my need to control every situation, I’ve allowed myself to soar to new heights and attempt poses I’d never dreamed possible. So yeah, I’ve figured out that letting go works. Time and time again it is the one truly miraculously healing option we have when dealing with life’s trials. We certainly can’t change the past, fix other people, or conrol the future. We can let go of our crazy attempts to do all three. Given all of the evidence in my past that letting go works why does it still seem so difficult sometimes?

Even though I can’t control other people I can still hold resentments when they don’t meet my expectations. Worse yet, I can hold resentments against MYSELF when I don’t meet my expectations. Who needs that?

Why all this discussion about letting go? I was walking with Jeff and Dash in the park yesterday and it was a cool, crisp afternoon. I felt free (practically jolly!) and happy and whole. I’d realized that our moment together in the park would not have been possible had I not let go of my fears about leaving my day job to start my own business. I’d have been at work on this beautiful sunny weekday afternoon. In that moment of joy I found the strength to let go of my critical thoughts (of myself, of Jeff, of Dash, of my business, of my yoga practice, of my family, of my friends, of the color of the grass and the temperature of the air). Letting go of all of my expectations and ensuing mental drama, even for just a few minutes, felt really freeing. I realized just how much energy I waste on such ridiculous things like regret or fear or control or doubt. Once I let go and was present in the moment, an abundance of beauty and joy was waiting for me.

Easier said than done, right? But if it’s so easy to learn that Hot Stove = Don’t Touch why can’t these bigger lessons be just as easily integrated when we realize how beneficial they are? I guess learning to Let Go is easy. Practicing Letting Go when it feels like all we have to cling to are our doubts, fears, etc. is hard.

Today I challenge you (and me!) to practice letting go. Whatever is holding you back, see if you can take a deep breath (or ten or twenty deep breaths) and find the space and courage to let go. You just might amaze yourself with how easy it is and how great you feel!

It’s Still Discrimination Even If You’re a White Guy November 9, 2010

I had a really disturbing phone interaction yesterday. I’d applied for a temporary massage gig that I’d seen posted on craigslist. It looked like a good way to make a little extra money (the holidays are coming soon, after all!) Almost immediately after sending my information to the email address that had been supplied in the post I received a phone call right away from an enthusiastic woman (we’ll call her Susan). Susan called to tell me that she had good news and bad news. The good news was that my resume was great and that I was really qualified and they’d love to have me fill their need for a massage therapist. The bad news was that she couldn’t hire me because I’m a man. As it turns out there are plenty of clients that visit their location who do not want a male therapist. She thanked me for my interest and after a few more pleasantries we ended the call.

I’m not new to the massage industry and I’ve had individual clients turn me down because of my gender. I’ve even missed out on opportunities because of what I’m sure is a gender bias toward females in the massage industry. I’ve never had a potential employer tell me flat out that they couldn’t hire me because I’m a man. In this day and age where it would be IMPOSSIBLE to get away with telling someone they couldn’t be hired because they were a woman or a particular ethnicity, religion, etc. without the ACLU or someone else knocking down your door, I was actually quite shocked by her honesty. I mean, after all, it’s still discrimination if I’m a white guy, right? Maybe in our mega-PC world the only acceptable group to discriminate against are white guys?

I’m clearly not going to lose sleep over this because it was just a small opportunity. I’ve also been fortunate to have many other chances granted to me over the years. It’s not my style to end up somewhere I’m not truly wanted anyway. But I still can’t help but feel a little bit angry that the only reason I lost the job was because of my gender. Aren’t we past this as a society? Does it really matter to most people that their massage therapist be a female?

Be Yourself – Sewall House #2 September 10, 2010

So much happens here at Sewall House when I visit that it’s hard to record it

Backbending on Sewall House lawn

all, but I’ll try! Last night we did a terrific Kundalini set where we released anger, sadness and grief. At one point I actually felt such a powerful feeling of sadness that I cried. We were asked to think sad thoughts and cultivate a feeling of sadness and I reached back and thought about the loss of my father when I was 14. It’s always been a tender subject for me and it caused tears to well up from within me. Kundalini yoga can be such a powerful practice for recognizing and releasing underlying emotions. The practice ended with uplifting breathwork, meditation, chanting and music which made my sadness dissipate and replaced it with joy and contentment. We had another outstanding dinner of veggie stir fry over red quinoa with roasted potatoes and beets. It was fantastic! After a restful night’s sleep I woke up before the sun and took a short hike around town in the rain. It was so nice to have that peaceful, quiet time to myself. One of my housemates, Matt, had said that there were some ATV trails that gave some nice views along the river, but I wasn’t able to find them. Hopefully I’ll get him to be my tour guide one of these days.

The morning’s yoga included a rigorous hip opening class followed by a restorative yoga nidra (psychic sleep) that made us all feel spacey and full of love. After breakfast Katy, Matt and I went for a hike to Shin Falls which was just perfect! The falls were powerful from all the rain we’d had the past several days and the water was freezing! It did offer a nice jacuzzi effect as we sat in the pools at the base of the falls. While the water was freezing I must admit that it felt good on my aching back, although I couldn’t stay there long because of the frigid temperatures. I felt really fortunate to be surrounded by such kind people on this trip. Like I said, so much happens here at Sewall House and the people you meet are so kind, loving and supportive that you can’t help but be yourself. When you really are yourself and don’t put a lot of energy into pretending you’re something you’re not, you’ve got so much energy to do stuff like climbing down the base of a waterfall for a swim!

7:30pm Update: I just shared an awesome experience with Donna, Jody and Matt. After Kundalini class we all just danced wildly, blissfully, and wholeheartedly for about 10 minutes as we chanted and sang along to one of Donna’s kirtan CD’s. It felt so awesome to be so free!

If you’re interested in joining me for a spring retreat at Sewall House in May 2011, I’m getting a group together for a 4-day visit. I’ll teach Hatha yoga in the morning and Donna will teach Kundalini in the evening if people are interested. Email me for more details!

TODAY’S KARMA SCOREBOARD

Once again faced my fear of the falls (+4)

Finding deep relaxation and letting go (+4)

Making Peace July 7, 2010

If you’re anywhere in the eastern third of the US and you’re reading this it’s probably too hot where you are. For the past several days heat records have been shattering left and right, temperatures have soared over 100 degrees and most people are really fretting about the latest heat wave. Six months ago we had “snowmageddon” now I guess we’re experiencing “too-hot-calypse” or something like that. Maybe it’s the yoga teacher in me, but I try not to focus too much of my energy on things like this that are beyond my control. Rather than worrying about the heat and complaining about how uncomfortable it is, I try to make a choice to just be at peace with things as they are right now. It can certainly be challenging when running errands in the midday heat when the temperature is closing in on 105. But in the end, what good does complaining about the weather do? Not much.

There’s a word for this attitude in yoga practice. We call it santosha, which can be translated as “contentment”. It’s definitely easy to practice santosha when things are comfortable, life is moving along peacefully, and there’s not much to tempt us away from the peaceful seat of contentment. It can be more challenging when it’s uncomfortably hot or when life hands you an unpleasant surprise. Last week I was driving around town delivering copies of the new magazine to businesses in the area that share a similar mission to ours. The weather was absolutely beautiful. I was ecstatic to have a car full of bundles of the new magazine that we’d worked so hard on for many weeks. I was spending the middle of the day outdoors while working and doing something I loved. I couldn’t have experienced a greater state of santosha if I’d tried. Then as I was traveling from one distribution point to another I was cut off by another driver and despite making every effort to avoid a collision we ended up having an accident. The police were called, medics arrived, my front end had some slight damage and my license plate was crumpled. Santosha became instantly harder. In retrospect I wonder, “How in the world could anyone be content with that situation?” Well, that’s the funny thing about practicing contentment. We’re really not given a choice about when to be content and when not to be. To allow contentment into our lives we need to make peace with the entire range of human experience – not just the afternoons at the beach, ice cream sundaes, and kudos for a job well done. By denying ourselves the opportunity to practice contentment in the midst of difficulty we’re limiting our ability to fully be in the moment. It’s when we can be content with the less pleasant things in life that we can connect with that part of ourselves that is eternal and boundless and unaffected by things like a car accident or triple digit heat. So as I sat there in my car and looked at the woman who’d caused our collision, I realized that there was a choice to be made between losing my cool and finding my center. Instead of blowing my stack and ruining her day even more (and mine in the process) I simply asked, “Are you okay?” At first she didn’t answer, but simply looked frustrated and tense as she fumbled for her license and insurance card. I just kept asking, “Are you okay?” until she assured me she was in fact “okay” (whatever that means) and we had both cooled down a bit. It would be ridiculous to suggest that I “enjoyed” my first-ever automobile collision. There were a million things I could probably think of that I would rather have done that stand there on the side of the road wasting precious daylight on a beautiful day as I awaited the emergency services to arrive. I guess the point of practicing contentment is to realize that there is no escaping the unexpected. We all will face highs and lows throughout our experience of this human life. By not letting the extremes get us too elated or too deflated the beauty of our inner grace or our true Self can shine through.

The 12 Step folks use probably the best known verse on the topic to close their meetings and I think it’s a fitting way to end this post:

God grant me the serenity

To accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

TODAY’S KARMA SCOREBOARD

It was too darn hot so I took the day off and went to the beach (+3)

Accidentally killed two flies that I tried to swat off my legs as they were biting me (-2)

Got a little too much joy out of standing in the ocean waist deep with my very skittish dachshund in my arms as the waves crashed around us and he tried to jump out of his skin (-1)

Guilty Pleasure July 1, 2010

It’s been nearly a week since I left the comfy window seat at my desk job for the freedom of self-employment. In addition to having regular commitments with a nearby spa to offer massage and yoga and several residential communities where I teach regular weekly classes the rest of my work week is filled with cultivating my own private massage business and publishing the newly released NJ Namaste News magazine.

Week 1 of this new adventure has been filled with lessons about relaxing and letting go. For a decade I punched someone else’s time clock, stressed about someone else’s bottom line and had a daily routine dictated by (you guessed it) someone else. Now that I’m calling the shots it is really rewarding and somewhat challenging. I’m finding that I can have tendencies toward workaholism. But it seems a little ridiculous to struggle for months and months to earn this freedom only to surrender it immediately. When you have your own business there’s always work to be done and the boundary between work/home life is blurred when your office is steps from the bedroom. Today I made a commitment to myself (and Jeff and the dachshund) to head to the beach today, on a “workday”, and not do any work. We had an amazing day! We learned that Dash enjoys eating seashells and does not like the ocean for it is too big and scary. It was wonderful to just relax far away from the home office and enjoy a day outdoors in the beautiful weather.

So why did I call this post “Guilty Pleasure”? Well, while I was enjoying the time at the beach there was still a nagging voice in my head telling me that I should be working, not goofing off, and telling me that I need to work even harder now that I’m my own boss. I guess that there’s some truth in that sentiment. I’m definitely finding that it is MUCH harder to work for yourself and be accountable for all of the aspects of “earning your keep” as it were. But I had to remind myself that one of the main reasons I wanted to become a massage therapist and yoga teacher was the freedom it would afford me to take random Wednesdays and head to the beach for some R&R. Sometimes you have to relax and let go. You’d think that for a guy who makes it a living to help others breathe, let go, relax, connect with an inner guide that I’d be more in touch with this stuff, but I’ve always been an overachiever. And unfortunately it’s too easy to bring those tendencies to my current work.

I must say that despite all of my feelings of guilt about allowing myself a day off, those feelings are far outweighed by the pleasure of spending half a day at the beach with your family or sitting on the porch while blogging and watching fireflies light up the darkening summer sky. This is what life’s about after all. It’s not about deadlines or achievements or making money or crossing items off of a to-do list. It’s about finding what feels right for your soul and doing it. Today what felt right was the beach. Tomorrow I’ll probably be back to shlepping bundles of my surprisingly heavy new magazine around town and trying to sell ads. I guess that’s what’s so exciting about being the boss. Each new day is up to you. Some days you’ll work hard and others you’ll hardly work. I guess there’s no sense in feeling guilty about that.

Dash is inside sleeping on a pile of wet beach towels. He probably needs a walk before bed and they definitely need to be thrown in the wash before they grow feet and learn to walk themselves. Wishing you all the “unguiltiest” of pleasures!

Say Goodbye June 24, 2010

I’m sitting in the office that has been mine for the past 3 1/2 years. My desk is mostly packed up save for a couple of photos. My inbox is empty and in a few hours I’ll turn off my computer and leave this job to embark on my new career path. All that there really is left to do is to say goodbye to a group of office mates who have been extremely kind, funny, and caring during my time here. I’m a bit overwhelmed by trying to capture how this feels into words. This adventure has been a work in progress for the past several months. At first I dreamed about how cool it would be to “be my own boss” and have more free time to enjoy life and do things I wanted to do. Then I really started to experience an abundance of fears – fears about money, fears about letting go, fears about failure, not to mention fears related to doubting my own abilities to pull off this life change. Eventually I came to a place of acceptance where it became abundantly clear that the only sane thing I could do was to let go. So I let go of the fears and doubts about the future and was astonished by how liberating that felt. I’m slowly realizing that it is only through letting go that we allow space in our lives for new experiences.

So here I sit at my desk. It’s my last day of the old career and it feels like the start of something big. I’ve done all I can to prepare for this journey and the only thing left to do is jump in and see where life takes me next! It is very fitting that after I finish my marketing work day for the last time that I will be heading right to teach a yoga class. It’s the start of a new series and I’m hoping that it will include a mix of friendly familiar faces as well as a few yoga newbies!

New Beginning May 28, 2010

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

It’s shortly after 7am and I just finished the first of many (I hope) morning meditation sessions. I’ve been wanting to find the time to devote to meditating, but it has been a challenge lately since my work has been keeping me quite busy. One of the blogs I read is written by a mom of a 2 year old and she wrote the other day about how she sneaks a few minutes of restorative yoga and meditation when her son is napping. The key is to not wait for the “perfect time” to meditate and to quote Nike, “Just do it.” I figure that if a mom of a 2-year old can do it – so can I! So this morning I sat for a few minutes – maybe 10 or so. I don’t really know since there isn’t a clock in the little nook off the bedroom which is my office / new meditation room. it felt terrific to start my day in this way and sort of makes me wonder why I waited so long to start a regular meditation practice. Fear? Laziness? Being too tired to want to give up that extra bit of sleep? I guess the first step is always the hardest. Now I hope this grows into a journey of a thousand miles, or at least an ongoing morning ritual.

I feel buoyant today. In a way I haven’t felt in ages. I’m sure that’s partially due to the fact that I meditated this morning and partially because I gave notice at my day job yesterday that my last day will be June 24. I’m ecstatic to report that my dream of building a career out of my yoga teaching and massage therapy practices has finally come to fruition. It’s been a long time coming, starting with a decision last summer to enroll in the teacher training program at my studio. I’m been astounded by the opportunities that have come my way since then. While the letting go process is scary, the prospect of NOT letting go of my day job to pursue the direction my heart is giving me seems even scarier.

This weekend Jeff and I are heading to the Boston area to see Snatam Kaur and Guruganesh Singh in concert and spend a few days at the Peace Abbey. I’ll write more on the journey later and hopefully will be able to keep this newborn meditation practice going!

Dog Days April 5, 2010

If you ever need a lesson in how to BE HERE NOW and slow down and do just one thing at a time, spend a day with a dog.

Let's go to the park!

I took my partner in crime, Dash, to our usual local park today. Rather than clock watching the entire time and allowing my mind to wander to a ridiculously long to do list, I made the conscious decision to let Dash be in charge of the agenda. There’d be no leash tug-o-war today. No dragging him frantically from interesting smell to next interesting smell as I try to cross “walk the dog” off the list during a free half hour. No trying to multi task and get a good power walk in while in the park with Dash today. We went at dachshund pace. At times ploddingly slow. At times maddingly fast. We watched a bumble bee hover for at least 2 minutes (but who’s counting?) We ran full speed across a soccer field. We sniffed a flower or two, investigated a hole that someone else started digging but mysteriously left half-dug, and eventually plopped down in a grassy spot to rest a bit. One of us rolled in something stinky. The other one of us just laughed and didn’t tug the leash. Sometimes you just need to give your friends the space to roll in something stinky. We almost invited ourselves to someone else’s barbecue near the playground where they had all kinds of fantastic smelling meat on sticks. Unfortunately for Dash, a vegetarian had his leash.

It was the most fun afternoon I’ve had in a long time. No deadlines. No scheduling. No place else to be. No shouldering the shoulds I should be doing.

Just when you think you’ve got it all figured out and are SURE that you’re the master and your dog is the one that needs training…remind yourself which one of you knows EXACTLY how to effortlessly live every moment to the fullest.

Remembering Christmas December 8, 2009

The holiday season is in full swing here at the Critchley/LaSalle household. The tree is up awaiting its trimmings. The annual holiday mix CD is produced and waiting for packaging and delivery. The presents have (mostly) arrived from Amazon and await the first free evening on my calendar to be wrapped. I’ve got at least 3 different permutations of menus for Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, and LaSalle Christmas (aka Boxing Day for our Canadian readers).

In case you haven’t noticed, I love Christmas. I guess that makes me lucky in this season when there’s just no getting away from it. Christmas is everywhere you look! I guess most people love Christmas, but there are just as many people that I’m sure dread this season. I think about friends in my own life who’ve lost loved ones this year. Or who’ve had painful breakups. Or people who are looking for work in this tough economy. It will undoubtedly be tougher for them to give in and revel in the explosion of Christmas merriment that is forced upon us.

Since it’s my first Christmas as a full-fledged yogi I’m trying to apply some of the core sentiments of peace, unconditional love, and childlike joy to this season. As much as I love Christmas, it can certainly be anxiety-causing if you let it. What if the holiday menu doesn’t turn out perfect? What if I don’t find the “right” tree? What the heck am I going to give Aunt Sue this year who hates everything?

I’ve already had a few holiday snafus pop-up and have been able to just breathe and go with the flow. For example, we bought a ridiculously large tree this year. I was so concerned about finding a fresh tree that was full and symmetrical that I sort of forgot to worry about whether or not it would actually fit in the living room! So, this year our tree is in the dining room. Last year I might have lost it over such an incident. This year I’ve decided to go with the holiday flow and just be happy with whatever comes my way. I’m realizing that holidays aren’t about execution of a perfect fairy tale experience. I’m not running the holiday show at Rockefeller Center, you know?

It’s totally cliche, but holidays really are about family. And about creating memories with people you love. One of the favorite holiday memories of Critchley Christmases Past involve an epic fail in the Christmas tree department. When I was a kid we always put up an artificial tree in our cozy 4-room apartment. We lived on the 3rd floor in a post-war walkup far from tree farms and lots that dot the landscape here in central Jersey. This one year my parents had a heck of a time getting our poor old tree to stand up straight in the stand. From years of putting the tree up and taking it down the tree base and stand were both “well loved”. After an hour of cursing and arguing (as legend now has it) my dad decided to storm out and my 4’11” mom picked up the 5-foot-plus tree and hurled it like a javelin at the slamming front door. I’m not sure if that happened exactly as we now remember it, but we retell that one every Christmas night at dessert over pie and ice cream. I think every year the tree in the story gets taller and my mom gets shorter!

We also share the story of my dad’s last Christmas with us. He’d had a stroke the summer before and his balance and mobility were terrible. In typical stubborn Critchley fashion he continued to get around on his own right until the end. That year he fell into the tree on Christmas Eve and knocked the whole thing on the floor breaking some of my grandmother’s antique ornaments. Looking back on that memory I don’t remember the details of the broken ornaments or even whether we were sad about them. I do remember how we laughed at how silly it was to see my father on top of our little artificial tree in the middle of the living room floor. We still laugh about that one every year over pie and ice cream, too.

Holidays are messy. Maybe you have to break a few ornaments to make a Christmas memory or two. This year I’m ok with that…