It’s been nearly a week since I left the comfy window seat at my desk job for the freedom of self-employment. In addition to having regular commitments with a nearby spa to offer massage and yoga and several residential communities where I teach regular weekly classes the rest of my work week is filled with cultivating my own private massage business and publishing the newly released NJ Namaste News magazine.
Week 1 of this new adventure has been filled with lessons about relaxing and letting go. For a decade I punched someone else’s time clock, stressed about someone else’s bottom line and had a daily routine dictated by (you guessed it) someone else. Now that I’m calling the shots it is really rewarding and somewhat challenging. I’m finding that I can have tendencies toward workaholism. But it seems a little ridiculous to struggle for months and months to earn this freedom only to surrender it immediately. When you have your own business there’s always work to be done and the boundary between work/home life is blurred when your office is steps from the bedroom. Today I made a commitment to myself (and Jeff and the dachshund) to head to the beach today, on a “workday”, and not do any work. We had an amazing day! We learned that Dash enjoys eating seashells and does not like the ocean for it is too big and scary. It was wonderful to just relax far away from the home office and enjoy a day outdoors in the beautiful weather.
So why did I call this post “Guilty Pleasure”? Well, while I was enjoying the time at the beach there was still a nagging voice in my head telling me that I should be working, not goofing off, and telling me that I need to work even harder now that I’m my own boss. I guess that there’s some truth in that sentiment. I’m definitely finding that it is MUCH harder to work for yourself and be accountable for all of the aspects of “earning your keep” as it were. But I had to remind myself that one of the main reasons I wanted to become a massage therapist and yoga teacher was the freedom it would afford me to take random Wednesdays and head to the beach for some R&R. Sometimes you have to relax and let go. You’d think that for a guy who makes it a living to help others breathe, let go, relax, connect with an inner guide that I’d be more in touch with this stuff, but I’ve always been an overachiever. And unfortunately it’s too easy to bring those tendencies to my current work.
I must say that despite all of my feelings of guilt about allowing myself a day off, those feelings are far outweighed by the pleasure of spending half a day at the beach with your family or sitting on the porch while blogging and watching fireflies light up the darkening summer sky. This is what life’s about after all. It’s not about deadlines or achievements or making money or crossing items off of a to-do list. It’s about finding what feels right for your soul and doing it. Today what felt right was the beach. Tomorrow I’ll probably be back to shlepping bundles of my surprisingly heavy new magazine around town and trying to sell ads. I guess that’s what’s so exciting about being the boss. Each new day is up to you. Some days you’ll work hard and others you’ll hardly work. I guess there’s no sense in feeling guilty about that.
Dash is inside sleeping on a pile of wet beach towels. He probably needs a walk before bed and they definitely need to be thrown in the wash before they grow feet and learn to walk themselves. Wishing you all the “unguiltiest” of pleasures!
Just Be Now 